Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax.

For the past several days I have started and deleted a few blogs, unsure of a good topic to blog about. Today I'm just going to share little tidbits instead of pressuring myself with one big idea. :)


This weekend I'm performing Mozart's Mass in C Minor with an orchestra and vocalists. When I picked up the music a couple of weeks ago, I thought it was really easy and didn't need to be practiced too much. But then I looked at the tempo markings and realized I had a small project on my hands. It's been a really long time since I've had to practice with a deadline coming up. Since I graduated, my practicing has been very leisurely. I pick up whatever piece sounds like fun and work on it until I want to try something new. But now I have become reacquainted with the metronome and with slowing things down just to speed them back up again later. It's been very nice and a good challenge for me. My metronome has been out of batteries for a while now, so instead of going to the store and buying a 9 Volt, I found a free metronome online and plugged my headphones into the computer. SO much more helpful than any metronome I've ever used before, I think I'll stick with it! I've also found that my most productive practicing happens in front of Jake. When Jake is in the room I want it to sound good so I work harder and get it done faster. He's been a good sport about it; when he comes home from work he plays his video game but I'm sitting 3 feet away playing in his ear, haha. I think he appreciates that I want to impress him, though.



I've been listening to a lot of Jewel lately. It stemmed from watching her new show on Bravo, Platinum Hit. It's a really cool show; 12 songwriters come on and participate in ridiculous, never-would-happen-in-real-life challenges to see who will make it to the next week. Basically the same format as Project Runway. Anyway, Jewel is one of the judges, along with Kara Dioguardi, who I CAN'T STAND. I couldn't stand her on American Idol; in fact, that's mainly why I stopped watching. But Jewel is pretty amazing. Her music is on every time I do the dishes, so I kind of look forward to it now. I realized she has released 2 albums since I bought her last ("Goodbye Alice in Wonderland", 2006) so I went on Amazon and ordered both albums for about $3 each. I love how she can and does tackle any genre. She's country, pop, folk, alternative... so amazing. I love me some Jewel.



When I fall asleep at night, my mind tends to become very smart, for some reason. Let me explain. I have very intelligent thoughts that I don't have when fully awake. It reminds me of this anecdote I heard about Sir Isaac Newton. The story is that Newton realized his brain was at its full potential when he was somewhere between awake and asleep. So he would sit in a chair and hold something in the palm of his hand, and allow himself to start to fall asleep. When he fell asleep, the object in his hand would drop, thus waking him up just enough to pick up the object off the ground and do it all over again. So it was a constant state of limbo. I find this to be the case for myself, too. I'm no Isaac Newton, by any means. But I have huge epiphanies while dozing off that could potentially develop into great ideas. The problem is that I usually forget by morning. Sometimes in my dreams I am a stand up comedian or an incredible songwriter, who comes up with hit songs or make people laugh hysterically. I wish we could somehow record our dreams and watch them over and over again. I think I'm pretty awesome in my dreams! I've been thinking a lot about the human brain generally, lately. The last few weeks I have made many trips to and from Logan and Orem, most often alone in my car. I bring my iPod and listen to many different artists. Some of the songs I put on I haven't heard in years. But somehow the lyrics come back to me, like an old familiar friend, and I haven't given these words any thought in all those years. Isn't that amazing, that our brain can store such meaningless information in a little corner, and bring it out when needed? The same goes for old faces that we feel we've seen before, or familiar smells that take us back to our childhood. I am in total awe of our potential, as humans. To me, this is the ultimate proof that there is a greater being who created us. How could random science be so articulate and perfect when it comes to creating the brain? So amazing.



I often think about how I want to raise my children; how we will spend our summers, what interests they will acquire, if they will develop the same annoying characteristics that I have, if they will be born with Jake's cute face... it's like a huge mystery. A few months ago at church, someone gave a lesson on finances and saving money. Many people brought up the point that Americans buy houses that they simply cannot afford, and that is why the country is in so much trouble, blah blah blah. A man raised his hand and said that his parents bought a modest home (not dumpy but not elaborate) and used the money they could have used toward a huge mortgage on family trips and experiences. He said that we only ever live in our house. It does not give us experiences or show us the world. If we use our money to take children to interesting, life changing places, wouldn't that be worth so much more? I love that. I've thought about that a lot. Jake and I are nowhere near buying a home, because we don't know where we want to end up yet. But I think we will keep that in mind. I would love to take the kids to Disneyland every 2 years or something like that.




The end.

Saves the day.

Without airing out anyone's dirty laundry, and honestly trying not to receive pity from anyone...

Today was the absolute worst day that I can recall thus far in my life.

Let's just say I've got about 100 emotions running rampant in my poor little brain all at once.

It's important to document this day, because there were a few saving graces that at least distracted me.


FRIENDS. Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, Joey, Ross and Chandler: Thanks, guys. Sometimes you really feel like my friends.

This week's PEOPLE Magazine. I got to read about Emily Maynard and Brad Womack's sad breakup. Made me feel like my life is pretty happy after all.

Jake doing everything he can to make me laugh.

$5 pizza from Little Caesar's.

LDS.org. My favorite search engine for a little inspiration.

Spontaneous trip to the gym for a quick run to purge my emotions.

Followed directly by a cold shower. I'd never taken one before. Very refreshing.

The Real Housewives of New York. Oh man, those women are crazy. Another verification that my life is normal.

Super Smash Brothers with Jake. He hates that game, but he was a sweetheart and let us play for a bit.




Every once in a while, when things get really bad, little good things can add up to make it bearable.