What you are.

I'm a little worried about myself. For one reason.


I'm beginning to enjoy country music a little bit.

It was hard for me to write that sentence. This is NOT okay! Don't worry, it's not a full blown problem, and I'm hoping to nip it in the bud. I've always been partial to The Dixie Chicks. Just having them as my one guilty pleasure is okay, I feel. And even now it's not too bad.

As I've mentioned before, I am a huge fan of Jewel.

Isn't she beautiful?


I purchased her latest album (released last year) about a month ago, and I can't get enough of it. It has little tastes of country here and there, with the mandolin, the giant predictable song endings, the fiddle licks after a profound line... but the biggest part about country that has always bothered me (and is very present in her album) is the cheesy lyrics! Super cheesy! You know, the old my dog died, my wife left me, my truck broke down stuff? Okay, Jewel doesn't sing about that stuff, but her cheesiest song is actually my favorite. It's been on my mind a lot lately, and I had to share the lyrics.


What You Are lyrics
I'm driving around town
Kinda bored with the windows rolled down
See a girl on the bus stop bench
Dressed to draw attention

Hoping everyone will stare
If she don't stand out she thinks she'll disappear
Wish I could hold her, tell her, show her
What she wants is already there

A star is a star
It doesn't have to try to shine
Water will fall
A bird just knows how to fly

You don't have to tell a flower how to bloom
Or light how to fill up a room
You already are what you are
And what you are is beautiful

Heard a story the other day
Took place at the local VA
A father talking to his dying son
This was his conversation

\"It's not supposed to be like this
You can't go first I can't handle it\"
The boy said \"Dad now don't you cry,
Remember when I was a child what you used to tell me when I'd ask why?\"

(You'd say) Gravity is gravity
It doesn't try to pull you down
[- From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/j/jewel-lyrics/what-you-are-lyrics.html -]
Stone is stone
It can't help but hold its ground

The wind just blows, though you can't see
It's everywhere like I'll always be
You already are what you are
And what you are is strong enough

Look in the mirror
Now that's another story to tell
I give love to others
But I give myself hell

I'd have to tell myself
\"In every scene there's a perfect plan\"
Everything I hoped to be
I already am

A flower is a flower
It doesn't have to try to bloom
And light is light
Just knows how to fill a room


And dark is dark
So the stars have a place to shine
The tide goes out
So it can come back another time

Goodbye makes a love so sweet
And love is love so it can teach us
We already are what we are
And what we are is beautiful

And strong enough
And good enough
And bright enough





Just a good reminder that we are all capable of so many things. We already have within us what we want to bring out, we just have to realize it. When we are kind to others, we need to save a little bit of that confidence for ourselves.




Gah. Listen to me. I could write a country song!

Gnocchi recipe

Lately I've been trying some new dinner recipes, using more fresh ingredients and less meat. In this day and age, the internet is so helpful! I have about 15 cookbooks, but when I want to try something new and see what it will actually look like, I just use Google and type in what I'm in the mood for.

Last night I made skillet gnocchi with chard and white beans. Halfway through I was losing hope; it was looking very runny and kind of like the goop you see in the movie "Oliver!". But after I let it sit and thicken up, it looked a lot better. Here's what mine looked like:

Doesn't look as good as the picture online, but it tasted good!

Here's the recipe:

INGREDIENTS
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil, divided
1 16-ounce package shelf-stable gnocchi, (see Tip)
1 medium yellow onion, thinly sliced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup water
6 cups chopped chard leaves, (about 1 small bunch) or spinach (I USED SPINACH)
1 15-ounce can diced tomatoes with Italian seasonings
1 15-ounce can white beans, rinsed
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1/2 cup shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
1/4 cup finely shredded Parmesan cheese


PREPARATION
Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add gnocchi and cook, stirring often, until plumped and starting to brown, 5 to 7 minutes. Transfer to a bowl.
Add the remaining 1 teaspoon oil and onion to the pan and cook, stirring, over medium heat, for 2 minutes. Stir in garlic and water. Cover and cook until the onion is soft, 4 to 6 minutes. Add chard (or spinach) and cook, stirring, until starting to wilt, 1 to 2 minutes. Stir in tomatoes, beans and pepper and bring to a simmer. Stir in the gnocchi and sprinkle with mozzarella and Parmesan. Cover and cook until the cheese is melted and the sauce is bubbling, about 3 minutes.


TIPS & NOTES
Tip: Look for shelf-stable gnocchi near other pasta in the Italian section of most supermarkets.


6 Servings, 30 minute prep

50 Life Changing Tips

I found this list of 50 ideas on improving your life. I am a big fan of lists of any sort, though I usually skim them. This one is so amazing, I read every word. I'm going to try and adopt one every day; maybe make a 50 day challenge. Some are easier than others to start right away. Here is the link (sorry it's not highlighted, you'll have to enter it in manually)


http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/8YZSE0/www.highexistence.com/life-secrets-and-tips/comment-page-1

Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax.

For the past several days I have started and deleted a few blogs, unsure of a good topic to blog about. Today I'm just going to share little tidbits instead of pressuring myself with one big idea. :)


This weekend I'm performing Mozart's Mass in C Minor with an orchestra and vocalists. When I picked up the music a couple of weeks ago, I thought it was really easy and didn't need to be practiced too much. But then I looked at the tempo markings and realized I had a small project on my hands. It's been a really long time since I've had to practice with a deadline coming up. Since I graduated, my practicing has been very leisurely. I pick up whatever piece sounds like fun and work on it until I want to try something new. But now I have become reacquainted with the metronome and with slowing things down just to speed them back up again later. It's been very nice and a good challenge for me. My metronome has been out of batteries for a while now, so instead of going to the store and buying a 9 Volt, I found a free metronome online and plugged my headphones into the computer. SO much more helpful than any metronome I've ever used before, I think I'll stick with it! I've also found that my most productive practicing happens in front of Jake. When Jake is in the room I want it to sound good so I work harder and get it done faster. He's been a good sport about it; when he comes home from work he plays his video game but I'm sitting 3 feet away playing in his ear, haha. I think he appreciates that I want to impress him, though.



I've been listening to a lot of Jewel lately. It stemmed from watching her new show on Bravo, Platinum Hit. It's a really cool show; 12 songwriters come on and participate in ridiculous, never-would-happen-in-real-life challenges to see who will make it to the next week. Basically the same format as Project Runway. Anyway, Jewel is one of the judges, along with Kara Dioguardi, who I CAN'T STAND. I couldn't stand her on American Idol; in fact, that's mainly why I stopped watching. But Jewel is pretty amazing. Her music is on every time I do the dishes, so I kind of look forward to it now. I realized she has released 2 albums since I bought her last ("Goodbye Alice in Wonderland", 2006) so I went on Amazon and ordered both albums for about $3 each. I love how she can and does tackle any genre. She's country, pop, folk, alternative... so amazing. I love me some Jewel.



When I fall asleep at night, my mind tends to become very smart, for some reason. Let me explain. I have very intelligent thoughts that I don't have when fully awake. It reminds me of this anecdote I heard about Sir Isaac Newton. The story is that Newton realized his brain was at its full potential when he was somewhere between awake and asleep. So he would sit in a chair and hold something in the palm of his hand, and allow himself to start to fall asleep. When he fell asleep, the object in his hand would drop, thus waking him up just enough to pick up the object off the ground and do it all over again. So it was a constant state of limbo. I find this to be the case for myself, too. I'm no Isaac Newton, by any means. But I have huge epiphanies while dozing off that could potentially develop into great ideas. The problem is that I usually forget by morning. Sometimes in my dreams I am a stand up comedian or an incredible songwriter, who comes up with hit songs or make people laugh hysterically. I wish we could somehow record our dreams and watch them over and over again. I think I'm pretty awesome in my dreams! I've been thinking a lot about the human brain generally, lately. The last few weeks I have made many trips to and from Logan and Orem, most often alone in my car. I bring my iPod and listen to many different artists. Some of the songs I put on I haven't heard in years. But somehow the lyrics come back to me, like an old familiar friend, and I haven't given these words any thought in all those years. Isn't that amazing, that our brain can store such meaningless information in a little corner, and bring it out when needed? The same goes for old faces that we feel we've seen before, or familiar smells that take us back to our childhood. I am in total awe of our potential, as humans. To me, this is the ultimate proof that there is a greater being who created us. How could random science be so articulate and perfect when it comes to creating the brain? So amazing.



I often think about how I want to raise my children; how we will spend our summers, what interests they will acquire, if they will develop the same annoying characteristics that I have, if they will be born with Jake's cute face... it's like a huge mystery. A few months ago at church, someone gave a lesson on finances and saving money. Many people brought up the point that Americans buy houses that they simply cannot afford, and that is why the country is in so much trouble, blah blah blah. A man raised his hand and said that his parents bought a modest home (not dumpy but not elaborate) and used the money they could have used toward a huge mortgage on family trips and experiences. He said that we only ever live in our house. It does not give us experiences or show us the world. If we use our money to take children to interesting, life changing places, wouldn't that be worth so much more? I love that. I've thought about that a lot. Jake and I are nowhere near buying a home, because we don't know where we want to end up yet. But I think we will keep that in mind. I would love to take the kids to Disneyland every 2 years or something like that.




The end.

Saves the day.

Without airing out anyone's dirty laundry, and honestly trying not to receive pity from anyone...

Today was the absolute worst day that I can recall thus far in my life.

Let's just say I've got about 100 emotions running rampant in my poor little brain all at once.

It's important to document this day, because there were a few saving graces that at least distracted me.


FRIENDS. Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, Joey, Ross and Chandler: Thanks, guys. Sometimes you really feel like my friends.

This week's PEOPLE Magazine. I got to read about Emily Maynard and Brad Womack's sad breakup. Made me feel like my life is pretty happy after all.

Jake doing everything he can to make me laugh.

$5 pizza from Little Caesar's.

LDS.org. My favorite search engine for a little inspiration.

Spontaneous trip to the gym for a quick run to purge my emotions.

Followed directly by a cold shower. I'd never taken one before. Very refreshing.

The Real Housewives of New York. Oh man, those women are crazy. Another verification that my life is normal.

Super Smash Brothers with Jake. He hates that game, but he was a sweetheart and let us play for a bit.




Every once in a while, when things get really bad, little good things can add up to make it bearable.

A plea to all young/future mothers.

The other day I dragged Jake to Bath and Body works because we were all out of hand soap in the bathroom, and my hands have become too spoiled to buy the grocery store brands anymore. Imagine my surprise when most everything in the store was 50-75% off! So I grabbed some body wash too, since I was about out of that. Spent about $5 in total. Cheaper than the grocery store stuff! For all you ladies, go check out your local Bath and Body Works; the sale goes through til sometime in July.

But that's not what this post is about...

While in said store, we were waiting in line to purchase said products, and in front of us was this woman who, from behind, looked to be about 25. She turned around and I realized she had to be at least 10-15 years older. TONS of colorful makeup, especially around the eyes. I have no problem with women wanting to look younger as the grow older. But she was sporting some clothes that should not be worn by anyone over the age of 18. I decided not to judge (as you can see), but then I looked next to her and saw her daughter who couldn't be older than 9 or 10 years old. I'd say 8. She was a cute little blonde haired girl, but something was wrong. Oh yes. She was wearing pitch black mascara. At such a young age! Not only that but she was wearing clothing very similar to her mother's, trying to act around the age of 25 as well. She also had a designer purse that was about the size of half her body.

This is where the mother erred. She was allowing her very young daughter to believe that she could dress and act like a teenager already. Mothers: Please don't do this to your beautiful little girls! They are only children for such a short period of time. Do you really want to blur those lines in her life? Imagine looking at her on her wedding day, and you can't remember her being young and carefree, playing in the park and coming in with grass stains. There is a time and a place for children to grow up. But at the age of 8 or 9? No. Makeup and expensive purses are not a necessity for a girl at such an age.

Society has made such behavior okay. Have you heard of or seen the TV show "Toddlers and Tiaras"?

Little girls wear bikinis, wear fake hair, fake teeth and learn to dance provocatively in order to beat other girls who do the same thing. I don't need to explain how absolutely perverted and disgusting this is. This is an extreme case, but this is what some mothers do to their daughters! And television broadcasts this, not only making them spoiled but spoiled television stars. What lies ahead for these girls? I don't want to know. Though I'm sure MTV will find them for shows such as "My Super Sweet 16" or maybe even "16 And Pregnant".

Life has a natural progression. We are born, and must depend on our parents for survival. We go through our toddler years and early childhood, where we must still learn from our parents and see them as role models (not your friend who will teach you how to apply makeup). Our preteen and teen years are meant to discover who it is we really are. Late teen and early adulthood is still a little bit of that, but it is only then that we must truly discover our own independence. We should never rob our children of discovering life in each era fully. Some of my most treasured memories stem from the first 10 years of my life, when I was free to be a kid.

Funny Thoughts.

So Jake has this Facebook "friend" that he went to high school with. I say "friend" because he never liked him much, but he keeps him as a friend because he says the most outrageous things on Facebook. So I decided to share these weird things with you. Just so it doesn't all go to waste, you know. I'm pretty sure they aren't all original, but it's okay.


I have a complicated relationship with zombies. They're dangerous but I love their swagger.


Fred from Scooby-Doo doesn't get enough credit for being the pioneer in alternative lifestyle cartoon characters. Oh, I see your man purse Tinky Winky and raise you a flaming orange neckerchief.


Do you think bears ever give each other really soft "people hugs?"


Karma is when you throw a banana peel in Mario Kart and you end up slipping on it.


Deers would be terrible at Frogger.


I want to see an Ancestry.com commercial where a couple finds out they're actually cousins.


The first sign of old age isn't gray hair or wrinkles, it's leaving your turn signal on for 5 miles while driving down the highway.


What exactly would happen if I messed with Texas?


‎"What a nice picture of you" is a great way to say "you're generally ugly, but it's hard to tell that from this photo".


Stick figures are skinny because they’re usually drawn doing jumping-jacks.


I'm terrified to sneeze while driving. For one brief second my eyes involuntarily close and I can't see the road...never mind the fact that I spend more than one second looking down at the radio to change the station.


France complains everyone makes fun of their language by imitating Maurice Chevalier or a cartoon villain. Try properly pronouncing "croissant." It's just begging for an evil mustache twirl.


‎"You only live once" is also an equally compelling reason not to do something.


I miss those old keyboards from middle school, they always made me sound like a typing prodigy...


I wonder how many professional ball players, after a long game, look forward to getting home and having a Capri Sun and a Fruit by the Foot.



I would assume that professional soccer players get the freaking best orange slices at halftime. Unless, of course, one of their mothers forgets that it's her game to bring them.



Birthday cakes are a little strange. Put one of your favorite TV characters on there, then watch mommy and daddy cut it up, and then you eat it. Really forces the kid to viciously kill off their childhood, but hey free cake.



I don't remember the name of any character Morgan Freeman ever played - he's just Morgan Freeman in every movie.



Its crazy to think you could smoke inside college lecture halls back in the day. Would it not be awesome to chomp on a pipe in class while wearing a blazer and say things like "Quite", "Mmmnnnyess" and "A rascal Yalie wouldn't understand!"


I wonder if Batman ever loses his balance while putting on his suit in such a hurry. Does he do the one leg hop thing we do when we miss our pant leg?


Whenever I walk into a large, mostly empty space (like a courtyard or a field or something) I immediately regret not bringing my sword or battle axe... because there's a 95% chance that a boss battle is about to occur.


They say there are loads of technological hurdles to overcome before laser weapons become practical, but let's be honest here, the only reason we don't have laser guns is that "pew pew" is not a very intimidating sound.


How is it that hipsters always live in the coolest part of town but don't have paying jobs?


When I attach my flash drive to a computer I still like to pretend I'm a spy downloading secret information and might get caught at any second.


Gruntled sounds ten times worse than disgruntled.


I never feel more idiotic than when I apologise for bumping into a mannequin.


Whenever I'm scrolling down a PDF file, that little grabby hand icon makes me think I'm copping a feel on the document.


As a man, I feel it's my personal mission in life to never have to make two trips while carrying in groceries.


Every time I close my garage door with the button inside of the garage, I like pretending I'm Indiana Jones trying to escape a temple just before the door closes.


Candy canes are by far the best holiday treat. Not only are they suckably delicious, but they can also be used as makeshift spears to ward off unwanted family holiday attacts.


If people winked in real life as much as they wink in text, this world would be a very creepy place.


I'm going to bring littering back, because people on probation need harder things to do for community service.


Hide and Seek was totally created by two friends who wanted to ditch their hated third friend with minimal confrontation.


Cranberry sauce is seriously misnamed. Sauce doesn't retain the shape of the can it comes in. Let's call it what it is. That stuff's cranberry jello.


There's nothing I hate more then when a bakery unevenly slices my bagel to where I have one mutant thick half & one piece of paper thin half.


Macaroni would be crap if it weren't for cheese. Cheese, on the other hand, doesn't need macaroni to stay pimp. I think we all know who wears the pants in the macaroni and cheese relationship.


‎"Sorry, we're unable to load a message from our sponsor." That's probably the most unnecessary apology I've ever received, but apology accepted, Hulu.


I think my lack of confidence in my decision-making skills stems from those ‘Choose your own adventure’ books I used to read. I can’t decide between one thing or another without worrying that somehow my choice will lead me off a cliff.


I imagine it was a pedophile who started calling his girlfriend "baby". How it caught on is an entirely different and more disturbing mystery.


I open the microwave door with one second left because it makes me feel like a bomb disposal expert.


All the landmarks and millions of beautiful places on Google Earth, and the first place everyone looks at is their own house.


Why do they include the nutritional information for both the unpopped and popped versions of microwave popcorn? Is someone out there snacking on kernels?


Checking Facebook is similar to when I say "um" -- it's filler between things that are actually important.


The guy who invented the "@" symbol needs to admit that he was just trying to write a lower-case "a" and things got a little out of hand.


Am I alone in thinking the Cookie Monster would make an awesome heavy metal singer?











That should be enough. I hope you smiled. :)